On the 13th of August, one day before.. I was asked if I'd expected it.



I can't say that I didn't entirely expect it. Rather, that I thought about it, and decided that it was better not to imagine things. If there was, there was - and what a pleasant surprise it was! If not, so be it. I've spent too many of my late teen years wondering why people celebrated everyone else's but mine. And as we grow older, we learn not to have any expectations. They do nothing for us anyway, but bring us down when our hopes aren't fulfilled.

So I'd actually just treated it as a normal ktv outing with my Deer and co, and was really looking forward to it cos my Deer had said she'd sing for/with me. Yippee! And you know what? I think that was the dearest present she'd given me. :)



We had cake, lots of it. Deer remembered my fondness for Prima Deli's yam cake and got it for me! So we each had a quarter of the cake, which is no joke i tell you.



Our mouths filled to the brim with the sweetness of yam and lots of love, they were begging for something salty now and so, we headed for our lunch-cum-dinner. And caught the movie Click after that. A long time since i've watched any movie on weekends, the price is too much for my pockets to take. But we all agreed that the spontaneity in doing things was the best part of it all. :)



The wacky and scandalous family we are.. (My mum saw 外遇's message to me and asked what was that supposed to mean.. haha!) Thank you for the surprise celebration, I'm glad I got to know and feed all of you :)

And on the actual day itself, I'd a small celebratory dinner gathering with my most beloved darlings at Essential Brew. The waitresses were very nice and Muiz loved the smiley fries.. My only regret was that we didn't really take any photos cos it was much too dark.



And here're my gifts:


My 外遇 made this card, wow!


Deer's very pretty card to me. All the pretty kitties! It's amusing how she always worries I won't like cute things, haha.


I know the microphone was definitely my Deer's idea.. hahaha. So sweet lah! *sniffle sniffle* And the wrapping paper is really very cute!

I even had a gift from Elvin Ng! Heeheehee. Yes I know, yes yes yes we all know who it's really from.. but he was playing love songs in his little silver car as he drove by, something along the lines of "i'm all out of love.. i'm so lost without you.." And that is just sooo sweet... Darling darling Elvin! :)


二十二颗相思豆, 是他亲手捡的. 我一颗一颗地数了, 也念了他小小的纸条. 是的, 是二十二颗.


I always thought that if people weren't sure what to get me, they'd get me books. And they did! Though I was really surprised that they'd all three gotten me books, and such lovely books they are too. I know my babes didn't get me books because they didn't know what I'd like though, but because they know what I'll like. All the lovelier and sweeter for their thoughtfulness. My princess meanie was so mean though. She went around slamming all my gifts on the table so that the givers wouldn't be hurt, but hey!! Those're my gifts you're slamming, babe! *gRin*

And as usual, tweety couldn't resist... she likes to think my gifts are hers, and who am i to break her darling little heart, yea?


I never knew you could find such great friends so late in life. But i'm glad I did. And sometimes when i think about my dear friends, I think:
I can't be such a bad person after all.
Or they wouldn't love me so, would they?

Maybe they still would. Cos you know, love's supposed to be unconditional and all that.

Twenty-two is special because I am loved. And it was especially memorable because my brother remembered, and messaged me happy birthday even.

Thank you, my darlings.

When I think back on my graduation, i think it was a good day.
i had beloved friends come all the way down to take photos with me, friends who didn't mind acting as our designated photographers of the day, clear blue skies which later became overcast (we had fun still :), friends who really did keep their word and looked for me to take photos with, parents who didn't dress too outrageously (even though my dad felt a need to wear his outdated hippie maroon boots with heels twice the height of mine so he would look taller, and his ear studs still), and hey, even my hair kept its word to let me look good in photos!

We didn't take a proper graduation photo back then in our jc days. (or if we did, we all looked like shit anyway.) This is as apt a photo as I can find. It feels final, the way graduation is.
Looking back... AO1 always.



Three and a half years later, Ao1 and Ao3 are still good friends :) Pioneer, Pioneer, go! Chi-pom, chi-pom... The PJ-ians unite!



These girls are the friends who made my university days less lonely. Special thanks to Kat, our designated photographer of the day.



My deer(wife) and waiyu (affair) fooling around at night some weeks later. They wanted a competition to see who could make the weirdest face, cos that would determine who was the true err..soulmate? for me.. haha.



These are the people who mattered. And the ones who were so sweet, to actually come and find me to take photos. You know how some people say "eh later must take photo ah!" but deep inside you know it's just something they say? Well, these babes aren't like that. They mean what they say.



And of course, not to forget, my favourite and dearest darlings.



What would my life be without you darlings? :) Thank you so much for coming down especially for my graduation. Love love luuuuurrrrve ya! *muackz*

T'was the day i finally tendered my resignation.

if it were up to me, i'd choose to be the first to leave. the earlier you detach yourself from them, the less you feel and the less people there are leaving you. that's what i always thought. so i'm always the one who sparks off the fight, always the one who initiates the goodbyes in my friendships. yet somehow, there's always a certain longing inside. i detach that self, but still i can't quite bear to leave. till it comes down to the crunch.

and so, i find myself being one of the last few (amongst my gang) to leave as usual.
after two years and slightly more than two months, i bade agnes and the outlet i've been at for almost two years (the first three months were at Taka Bean) goodbye. one day after my birthday, i dropped the bomb. on her? on khai? on our staff (whom i no longer know as more new faces come up)? Most importantly, on me myself actually.

Closing was always my favourite shift. to see the bustling outlet in the daytime after opening hours, nice and sparkling clean at night after a day's hard work. to sit in the outlet, so totally shagged but somehow feeling so much more alive than any other time, blasting Rina's #1 hits album out loud (with shafie switching to She Will Be Loved whilst i fought for Clay's The Way). to hear the satisfying thud of the metal shutters being pulled down and be the last to leave j8, next to the security guards and the 7-11 people, quietly bidding my outlet goodnight.

I remember my first shifts closing at Taka bean, with ah wai telling me about how closing was his favourite shift and me agreeing on that. we had seven people closing that night and we walked down the streets of orchard as though we owned them. the band at indochine always seemed to sound better on thursday nights. and stupid uncle CM who left without a farewell to me, he was the first person i worked with (though only for two hours) at Taka. NAC was a label we baristas were proud to display because NAC was the busiest outlet in the whole of Singapore.

I remember walking down after school to pass them the menu stands that Shereen had asked from Steven, one day before our J8 outlet officially re-opened in late August 2004. It smelled so new and to think i was one of those the boss herself had wanted to go over and help open the new outlet. I remember feeling sad but glad as well, sad that i was leaving Taka but glad that i'd this chance to "open" an outlet with them. Remember the first time I met Sasha and I'd thought she was cute. And how Aini was such a blur trainee in the beginning, and shereen had nicknamed her ajisen because of reasons i'm embarrassed to say. Crazy babe Zie, who'd left for Brunei, and Shirin pretty/skinny who'd always climb up to scrub the IB sink. Oh, how we loved to do that.

How when we first started at J8, Lady, Lorong Ah Soo, Uncle CM and I would do closing together and we'd board this funny chatty uncle's taxi and he'd let me wind down the windows cos i get a little motion sickness. And then later it was Uncle Jack who so doted on Jim, as we all know. Even driving him down to Boat Quay to help the Angela, haha. And then when Khai came along, we'd to go all the way to Bedok (even further than Jim's Aljunied!) before the rest of us Northlanders could be dropped off. i absolutely loved the night breeze. Remember our first (and only) Christmas party in 2004. I think it was probably the only successful one, altho Shereen'd invited Shukor for some crazy reason and Papa Ayam the nut wasn't there. And then Shereen laughing at how I would hang my head out the window so that I could enjoy the full blast of the wind blowing in my face as we rode home at night.

Taka was my first love, but J8 was my outlet. it was the outlet that'd become my home.

And now, I'm not even gonna get to do a last closing with my gang, nor wave a last farewell to my outlet. Good night, j8.. good night, beanies.. The gang's all dispersed and gone now, and i always knew i should've left before it got too late. But i didn't. As always.

And so I bade Agnes farewell today (even she is leaving earlier, her last day's this Sat) and Sunday will be goodbye to the kiosk, goodbye to the outlet..

two years later, and i'm reminded of him.

he, who didn't make my world orange`





with every burst of starlight, the rainbows fell on us. and with every boom of the fireworks, our hearts beat faster..


the last burst of flames, before..

the shooting stars fell.. on us :)


the time he stood behind me while i was getting my shoes, and we both looked up. and suddenly, it was almost like we could see the whole world from where we stood.


I saw four couples that night – jennf with her Pooh bear and honey stars, xingxing (our Winnie the Pooh!) with her Chris(topher), idiot shafie and yanti, and they – who didn’t need any honey stars to make their time any sweeter. (:


if i had a choice, all i'd ever eat would be desserts and snacks. no main dishes. i'm a fan of all things sweet and salty. :)